Why Slowing Down in Motherhood Is a Radical Choice (and Why I’m Choosing It)
Slowing down doesn’t come naturally in our culture.
We’re rewarded for doing more.
For pushing through.
For staying productive, even when our bodies and lives are asking for something else.
Motherhood makes that tension impossible to ignore.
Because once you have a baby, speed stops making sense in the same way. Your body has changed. Your nervous system has changed. Your sense of time changes too. And yet, the expectation to keep up with work, with life, with other people’s timelines often stays exactly the same.
Choosing to slow down in motherhood isn’t passive. It’s not accidental. It’s a decision. And in many ways, it feels radical.
Motherhood Changes Your Relationship With Time
Before becoming a mother, time felt linear. You moved forward. You planned. You optimized.
After birth, time feels different.
Days stretch and blur. Nights feel endless and fleeting at the same time. You can spend an entire afternoon feeding, rocking, pacing and have nothing tangible to show for it except a settled baby and a quieter nervous system.
That kind of time doesn’t translate well in a productivity-driven world.
It’s not measurable.
It’s not efficient.
But it’s deeply meaningful.
Slowing down in motherhood often starts with accepting that your days won’t look impressive on paper and that they don’t need to.
Slowness Isn’t Laziness.
There’s a narrative that slowing down means giving up. That if you’re not constantly doing, building, producing, you’re falling behind.
Motherhood taught me the opposite.
Slowing down is how you listen.
It’s how you notice when your body is tired instead of pushing through it.
It’s how you catch the subtle cues of a baby before they escalate.
It’s how you realize that rushing through this season doesn’t actually make it easier.
Slowness creates space. And in that space, clarity shows up.
The Pressure to “Keep Going” After Birth
One of the most jarring parts of early motherhood is how quickly the world expects you to resume normal life.
Physically, you may still be healing.
Emotionally, you’re integrating a massive identity shift.
Hormonal changes are ongoing.
Sleep is fractured.
And yet, the message is often: When are you going back? When are you getting back to yourself?
Slowing down in motherhood means questioning that timeline.
It means asking:
Back to what, exactly?
Because the truth is, you’re not meant to go back. You’re meant to move forward, but in a different way.
Slowing Down Changes What You Value
When you slow down, your priorities become clearer.
Things that once felt urgent start to lose their grip.
Things that felt optional start to matter more.
Time at home.
Unstructured days.
Meals made slowly.
Work that aligns with your values instead of just your resume.
Slowing down doesn’t mean you stop dreaming or building. It means you build in a way that fits the season you’re in.
For me, that meant stepping away from work that demanded speed, efficiency, and constant output and choosing work that allows for presence, flexibility, and depth.
Why This Choice Feels Radical
It feels radical because it goes against the grain.
We live in a culture that tells mothers:
You should bounce back.
You should keep earning at the same pace.
You should prove you can “do it all.”
You should minimize how much motherhood changes you.
Slowing down challenges all of that.
It says:
This season deserves my attention.
My body deserves rest.
My baby deserves presence.
And I deserve a life that feels aligned, not just impressive.
That kind of choice often needs to be explained. Or defended. Or justified.
I’m learning not to.
Slowness as a Form of Care
Slowing down isn’t just a personal preference. It’s a form of care.
It supports:
Nervous system regulation
Physical recovery
Emotional integration
Secure attachment
Mental health
When mothers are rushed, everything feels harder. When they’re supported to move slowly, the entire household benefits.
Slowness allows room for mistakes. For learning. For rest. For repair.
It allows motherhood to be experienced, not survived.
What Slowing Down Looks Like in Real Life
Slowing down doesn’t mean doing nothing. It means doing less, but on purpose.
It looks like:
Saying no more often
Allowing days to unfold without strict schedules
Letting go of unrealistic expectations
Choosing fewer commitments with more meaning
Protecting rest, even when it feels uncomfortable to do so
It looks like trusting that this season doesn’t need to be optimized and it just needs to be lived.
Letting Go of the Need to Justify Yourself
One of the hardest parts of slowing down is releasing the need for external validation.
The urge to explain why you’re not doing more.
Why you’re home.
Why your career looks different right now.
Slowing down asks you to define success on your own terms.
Not louder.
Not faster.
But deeper.
And that takes courage.
Why I’m Choosing This Path
I’m choosing to slow down because motherhood changed me and pretending otherwise felt dishonest.
I’m choosing slowness because I want my work to serve my life, not compete with it.
I’m choosing it because I believe mothers deserve to experience this season with support, dignity, and space to breathe.
And I’m choosing it because when I look back on this chapter, I don’t want to remember how much I managed to juggle. I want to remember how present I was.
